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Student Resources : Interpersonal Communication
The key to effective interpersonal communication is also two-fold: first, recognizing how complex one-to-one speaking can be; second, practicing certain communication strategies designed to keep the two people involved “on the same page.”
One-to-one communication may seem simple, but the two people may be significantly different from each other in the following ways: gender, culture, personality, willingness to communicate, talkativeness. For example, those gendered male tend to think of communication in functional terms and/or in power terms whereas those gendered female tend to think of communication in relational terms. Those in certain cultures use non-verbal communication much more extensively than others, sending crucial information through non-verbal channels that those from more verbal cultures can entirely miss.
One-to-one communication is also complicated by the existence of content and relational levels in all conversations, with both levels being important, and by listeners’ tendency to strive for both simplicity and consistency, thereby eliminating elements from the conversation that don’t fit. You need to be aware that you may be sending negative relational signals that make the content of what you say essentially irrelevant. You also need to be aware that you and your listeners may not truly hear things that are said if they interfere with maintaining an understanding of the other’s message that is either relatively simple or consistent with the other’s position.
Awareness of these and other complexities helps those engaged in a conversation avoid the many pitfalls that can wreck interpersonal communication. Also useful are empathetic listening, signaled by some confirming responses such as nodding and making eye contact, and periodic attempts at perception checking. Perception checking can be as simple as saying, “Now, what I think you’re saying is thus-and-so,” and waiting for conversation partner to say, “Yes, you’re right.” It’s simple, but an incredibly powerful way to keep two people on the same page.
