The Parent's Role

The Parent’s Role

As a parent you want to be there for your student, but remember that there are two sides of the story and that the best thing you can do for your student is to let them handle their own issues and gain those skills. Your student is typically between 18 - 22 years old and College is a great place for them to gain mediation and communication skills that they will use in the workforce. Listen to your student’s side, but don’t forget that there is another roommate involved who has their own side of the story. Usually the truth is found somewhere between the two biases of the story. The Office of Residence Life and Housing is not able to give out specific information to parents because your students are protected by the Federal Educational Right to Privacy Act as soon as they become college students.

These are the benefits and skills that your student will gain if you allow your student to work out their own roommate/community issues:

• Gain confidence
• Realize consequences of their daily actions and habits
• Learn to prioritize issues
• Improve their communication skills
• Conflict is healthy and this transferrable skill will be needed in the work place
• Take responsibility for themselves
• Gain compassion, empathy and understanding
• Be introduced to different cultures
• Learn to disagree respectfully and how to move forward

Here are some helpful questions for parents to ask when your student calls about a roommate conflict:

• Have you spoken with your roommate about the issue?
• How are you going to address this issue with your roommate?
• Have you given yourself enough time to calm down and think straight?
• What does your roommate contract say about this issue?
• What might be your roommate’s perspective on the issue?
• Are there any ways in which you and your roommate could compromise?
• How are you going to address this issue with your roommate?

Possible Roommate Issues:

• Lack of communication
• Visitation/Guests
• Boyfriends/Girlfriends
• Cohabitation/Visitation hours
• Visits from friends
• Differences in Lifestyle
• Hygiene
• Faith/Religious beliefs
• Political beliefs
• Economic backgrounds
• Cultural backgrounds
• Sexual orientation/Sexuality
• Medical issues/illnesses
• Extracurricular involvement
• Age difference
• Alcohol/drug usage
• Cleanliness
• Sleeping schedules
• Eating habits
• Noise level
• Study habits
• Room setup
• Sharing of food/electronics/clothes
• Leaving door unlocked when no one is in the room

Student's Role
RAs Role